Sunday, February 28, 2010

Forgetten Links


I love music
that i can say that with certainty

Its alluring SINUOUS waves draw me closer
and it has a tantalizing taste
regardless of the fact that it is heard

"You know what music is? God's little reminder that there's something else besides us in this universe. A harmonic connection between all living beings, every where, even the stars."
-August Rush


And i'm so happy when I listen to it
this asyo winter concert...sibelius almost moved me to tears
those waves keep pulling me in
I will love music for the rest of my life

But dancing will forever be my first love.

Monday, February 22, 2010

Skating..the ice version



PATRICK CHAN


i'm usually not the type to have favorite movie, pop, or sports stars, but this guy here is one of the first people that i seriously love.
I first saw him in the olympics and honestly..he didn't do that well
what really captured me was that he used this beautiful pastiche of phantom of the opera melodies which if you know me...i absolutely love.

and he didn't land his jumps well
but the way he moved
oh my goodnes....
the artistic expression was AMAZING

this coming from the girl who never obsessed over big bang, super junior m, brad pitt and all that good stuff.

soo..then i was pretty sure he could do better
in a huge international competition before, he had even beat out the gold medalist of the olympics
AND HES ONLY NINETEEN :O
so i watched a couple of his vids and he was pretty..amazing
and his movements...absolutely gorgeous
why can't i be as beautiful on ice?

to ice skate like that...uninhibited, flying over blue and white crisps of glistening ice
throwing yourself into an aerial vortex and then springing out of it on one leg.
even picking yourself back up when you're down.

to ice skate is to fly without restrictions, a bird heading home

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Joyful, not Happy



blessed am i
i am neither poor in spirit
i am neither mourning
i am neither weak
i am neither that strong in thirsting for righteousness...in that i am weak
i am neither merciful
i am neither persecuted
i am neither pure in heart nor a peacemaker

am I am blessed beyond all imagination
i've left and returned to god's side for so many times
and i just want to stop this coming and going
and just be happy with staying and living.

you guys..please pray for my relationship with god
because i really need to get back on track with that
and im glad because our accountability group is really helping with that

so like i've said before
i'm happy...it's pretty easy

i want to be joyful

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Eavesdropping

Sometimes I feel like I learn more from listening to my parents talk in the kitchen than from any textbook.

Topics From Tonight
- other parent's divorces
- the money you make from owning a Popeye's
- what an ironman competition is
- a wealthy man walks into a hotel and lays $100 on the counter
says, "I want to check into a room, but I want to check them out first"
About this time, everyone is in debt, so the hotel manager runs the 100 down to the pig farmer who he owed for meat.
the pig farmer ran it to the grocer he owed
the grocer ran it to the local prostitute he owed
the prostitute ran it back to the hotel manager cuz she'd been staying in the hotel for free.
The wealthy man comes back down and says, "i don't like the rooms" and takes back the 100.
Everyone's debt had been payed and no one gained any money!
...just like the American economy.

Friday, February 12, 2010

Let It Snow


things to be happy about
haha copied from penn

okay..i kind of don't like it when people describe me as happy
not that being described as happy is a bad thing
it just seems so superficial compared to JOY
in general i like it
but...it kind of puts you in a perpetually static state of emotion
and...
i'm definitely not a static state of emotion; au contraire

but okay
that was a random tangent..not really spurred by anything except the appearance of the word happy in my very nonconclusive weirdo brain

okay ANYWAYS

things to be JOYFUL about:
1- this beautiful fairytale snow day...the most gorgeous I have ever seen
2- friends (JESSIE) who you can just be absolutely your liberal creative self with
3- four day weekends
4- knowing that everything eventually turns out right :]

okay..so this winter wonderland was pretty awesome

jessie came over for making a trophy for the canceled coffee house/talent show
and it basically turned into this amazing time together
both just playing, being creative, snowball fights, and just being able to talk
dont you love those people who there is never something NOT to talk about?
those people you know will forever make an impact on your life.
each as individual as a snowflake.

weirdddd

wow...that was surprising
i thought it wouldn't hurt and i'd be okay with it
haha

i guess i lied.

and im still haha-ing

Monday, February 8, 2010

Deaf, not Blind


I remember asking Jesse a long time ago

"would you rather be blind or deaf?"


i was so surprised by his answer, though I shouldn't have been.
"Of course BLIND" he said
of course he would say that, because he is a musician
how can a musician play without his hearing?

but aren't I a musician?
and I said that I would rather be

deaf.


I know I know..all those hardcore musicians who are reading this might go like---psh...then you don't really love music
and I do love music...truly.

I just love the world more.

How can one live without all this color?
to not know be able to recognize your mother's face or see her smile?
To see a table of a feast gorgeously sprawled out over a simple table
to not see the ocean--
the trees
to look at the sky
can you HEAR the sky? blooming overhead, bright and blue?

To have your heart beat when you see that person's face..
To be able to know each color by heart
marigold, cardinal red, sapphire, aqua, honeydew, mint, cream, caramel,
good enough to eat

sepia, olive, lavender, peacock green, peach, magenta, silver, mahogany, violet, wolf gray, pine, burnt orange...
each colored pencil glowing like individual jewels...each priceless..
color my world....
these colors, to see them, is such a blessing
yes music is a way to color the world too..but seeing brings me greater joy than hearing.

After all...you don't need ears to hear God's voice...

fields, flowers, handwritten notes, looming mountains---all sound of music worthy
hehe ironic title x]

my former face on videotapes, old pictures, the happy sight of couples on valentine's day, drawing....without sight none of these could be possible.
even the sight of pain, even though it makes your heart hurt...
it's worth it.
how much the blind miss in life...
Even worse...to know sight then lose your grasp on it...that would be almost unbearable.

I remember that when I heard Jesse's answer that day
i felt almost ashamed that I wanted sight instead of hearing.
I offered an alternative.."wasn't beethoven deaf when he composed?"
"nono..its not the same even still..he would've wrote even BETTER ones if he could hear."

okay...definitely not the comfort I was looking for

For some reason..i was thinking back to that day
and even though I've grown and come to love music more and more.
My love of sight has grown even greater
having been able to recognize each innocent childish face at whirlwind..
the instantaneous joy and fear of walking onto a stage and seeing the multitudes of the audience.
the purples pinks and oranges wraveled with the normal sweet blue of a georgia sunset

If I chose blindness over deafness
then it wouldn't have mattered what I said
because that answer would have meant that I would have already been deprived of the beauty of the world.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

What is gone...

Four things you can't recover:

The stone........after the throw. The word.........after it's said..

The occasion........after it's missed. The time.........after it's gone.