Conditioning

                                                                                                         It all makes sense now

Tumblr

I am so sorely tempted to begin one after reading through a random stranger's tumblr that made me love who he was as a person and brother in Christ.

Ring Finger

Why the wedding ring is worn on the fourth finger:
The Chinese give a beautiful explanation to this.

• The thumb represents your parents.
• The index finger represents your siblings.
• The middle finger represents yourself.
• The ring finger represents your life partner.
• The little finger/pinky represents your children.

Hold your hands together like the picture. Join your middle fingers back-to-back, and the remaining fingers tip-to-tip.
Now, try to separate your thumbs. They will separate because your parents are not destined to live with you forever. Rejoin your thumbs and separate your index fingers. They will separate because your siblings will have their own families and lead their own lives. Rejoin your index fingers and separate your little fingers/pinkies. They will separate because your children will grow up, get married, and settle down. Rejoin your little fingers/pinkies and try to separate your ring finger. They will not be able to separate because your life partner is meant to be with you throughout your entire life, through thick and thin.

....i just tried this and it was so easy to separate my ring fingers...

I Just Don't Know

What in the world am I doing with my life?
Do I even want to be a mechanical engineer? What would I do as one? Why am I doing what I'm doing? These questions keep pouring over me, and time isn't getting any slower. It's now or never. And God, I don't know what you want for me to do. What can I do to equip myself for your work? What work do you even want for me to do? I'm just so frustrated and scared that what I'm learning or the path that I'm heading down is something that is just so far from what I can imagine myself doing for the rest of my life. What in the world am I doing? 

I look at all these things and want to learn them ALL. Medicine, art, language, teaching, poverty and human capabilities, sustainability. And then realize quickly that strict engineering schedules don't allow for any of that. I just want to do it all, just something simple or something to change the world. It's a battle between both. And what I'm good at..which with all this flippancy and lack of dedication to one subject will soon be nothing. Lord, it would just be so much easier for you to slip me a folded sheet of paper with what you want for me to do on it. But I guess it just doesn't work that way. You're really going to make me wrestle with you aren't you? Or am I just running away from what you've already revealed to me? Or am I just throwing everything out of proportion? What if I just want to do nothing but learn for the rest of my life, about everything. Oh wait, that costs tuition. Gah, I'm trying to be intentional, and that's what's causing all of this mess, because being intentional requires so much breaking down of every motivation for every action. And it's even worse when you don't even know your own motivations.

Joy Starts With "J"

So, I've been noticing for a while now, that I get along pretty well with almost everyone I meet who has a J name. Coincidence? Future baby name? Who knows..but I do really love all my "J' friends and just people in general. Forgive me if I unintentionally leave anyone off.

• Jessie
• Jaime
• Jesse
• Jason
• Julia
• Pastor Jeff
• Jordan
• Jackie Chan
• Jeremy Lin hehe
• Jill
• Jessica Gan
• Joanne
• Jonathan (Chang, Ding, Hsieh)
• JOE KAREN
• Jillian
• Jenny Salerno
• Jane

I'm sorry. I just don't want to trick myself again. And I intend to actually go through with it this time. Praise God that He used sickness for my health.

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Rants

Sometimes I really hate politics. And yet I KNOW that it is totally necessary. In fact it's not that I hate politics. I just hate the current state of our politics. How we are so divided. I don't even know how Christ comes into the picture which hurts me more than anything. It just hurts. Who cares if I'm Republican or Democrat? And yet, it is just one of many generalizations which do align with a grouped sense of values. Someone described it to me today that, "the only way you're going to win is if you drag your opponent into the mud." That in itself is what makes me shy away from politics so much. And so much more the reason why we need to dive into the political process.

Just whoever can bring Jesus Christ glory more, if at all. The worlds going to end anyways. Reading the news wrenches my heart so much.

Describing the Gospel

Today I was given an interesting proposal. To summarize the gospel in my own words. So here goes.

What is the gospel?
"The basic fact Christ, fully human and fully God, loved us so much that he planned to take on God's wrath for our sins and the sins to come on the cross so that we may be reunited with God."

As I wrote this, it made me think, what exactly is the gospel? Trying to describe the gospel is like trying to describe love. You can say love is a feeling. You can say love is about sacrificing yourself for another. You can say love is a pain. You can say all three are true plus millions more. Think of all the love songs or songs about loving in which we try to summarize this completely abstract concept of love, yet we know it's tangible. But oftentimes we find that none of us can summarize love as a whole, because our experiences with it differ so powerfully. If God IS Love, how much more inexplicable is He and his message? Yes, God sends his feeling of his Holy Spirit into us, yes God laid the ultimate sacrifice of his son Jesus Christ, taking on our sin, YES- God is a wrathful God. YES- God is love and the gospel, the basis of our faith, the message which he sent to us in our utterly human state that traps us within ourselves frees us to love, REALLY love. And not just love. Love GOD freely. Free to love and free to obey the Holy God without the bondage of sin weighing us down for eternity. And why? Because of his gospel. And for that I have no words to describe.