I Just Don't Know

What in the world am I doing with my life?
Do I even want to be a mechanical engineer? What would I do as one? Why am I doing what I'm doing? These questions keep pouring over me, and time isn't getting any slower. It's now or never. And God, I don't know what you want for me to do. What can I do to equip myself for your work? What work do you even want for me to do? I'm just so frustrated and scared that what I'm learning or the path that I'm heading down is something that is just so far from what I can imagine myself doing for the rest of my life. What in the world am I doing? 

I look at all these things and want to learn them ALL. Medicine, art, language, teaching, poverty and human capabilities, sustainability. And then realize quickly that strict engineering schedules don't allow for any of that. I just want to do it all, just something simple or something to change the world. It's a battle between both. And what I'm good at..which with all this flippancy and lack of dedication to one subject will soon be nothing. Lord, it would just be so much easier for you to slip me a folded sheet of paper with what you want for me to do on it. But I guess it just doesn't work that way. You're really going to make me wrestle with you aren't you? Or am I just running away from what you've already revealed to me? Or am I just throwing everything out of proportion? What if I just want to do nothing but learn for the rest of my life, about everything. Oh wait, that costs tuition. Gah, I'm trying to be intentional, and that's what's causing all of this mess, because being intentional requires so much breaking down of every motivation for every action. And it's even worse when you don't even know your own motivations.